I am a tradie-person, as cool as cool can be:
My plumber’s crack is round the back, just where a crack should be.
I jump into my tradie-ute, ‘cause bigger’s so much better,
(Despite the freezing cold outside, I’d never wear a sweater!)
Consult my phone and, all alone, reschedule everything.
I’m breaking all my promises. See? That’s the tradie-thing.

I’m racing down the highway now, ignoring all the signs,
‘Cause racing’s what we tradies do yet somehow get no fines.
“Yes, I can fix all that for you, the price is (quite outrageous)”.
Enthusiasm level now, for cash, is quite contagious!
“I’ll see you maybe late next week” and lucky you will be.
You’d better do the job yourself – I’ll tell you that for free!

Stephen Tomkins
22 March 2016
Sydney