But It’s On Sale!

Christmas may come
But once a year,
But, Oh my Lord!
It’s become very dear!
Though fiscally frugal
Right through the whole year
Yet, come Festive Season,
It’s all out the rear!

The plastic has melted
Through flagrant abuse.
The wallet’s been belted
By gross overuse.
The cash is depleted,
Though who uses cash?
All plans are unseated,
By purchases rash.

But it’s not yet December
And there’s friends to remember.
Though it’s years since you’ve seen them
So perhaps you don’t need them?
Still, Aunt Mary’s niece
Needs another nice piece
So, a Tiffany’s Breakfast
Is a financial Wreck Fest.

But when the Day’s here,
You can have a cold beer
And not think of the bill
‘Cause it will make you ill,
Since you’ve got a whole year
To escape from arrears
And your memory is short
Of the stuff that you’ve bought.

So, come next Festive Season,
You’ll find a good reason
‘Cause your heart may be leaning
To remember the meaning
And escape all the sadness
And the monetary madness
To enjoy Christmas cheer
With another cold beer!

‘Twas The Night After Christmas

‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing was stirring, not even a mouse.
All were asleep in a comatose state
After approving of each empty plate.

The feast had exceeded all rational bounds,
Come New Year resolving to shed extra pounds.
The fridge was still groaning with leftover cheer:
Turkeys and trifles and cases of beer.

Mountains of paper, cards and empty boxes
That once had contained iPads and new X-boxes,
Remained on the floor, a new obstacle course,
Attempted by those lacking sober recourse.

Crackers and pate and nibblies unending
Fuelled the reunions and newly befriending.
Children a-running and Dad-jokes a-cracking,
Into their tummies, the food they were packing.

The fun had continued late into the night –
A successful engagement with only one fight!
The hosts were exhausted, collapsed into bed,
To clean up tomorrow, it’s best left unsaid!

Stephen Tomkins
28 December 2014